On Sunday, Jose Urquidy went 7 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.36, which, truthfully, is kinda no matter, till you hear this one. The Giancarlo homer (his seventeenth) within the seventh was the primary hit by the Yankees in 16 1/3 IP, and almost 41 hours. *letting out the longest woof identified to man* On Saturday, Cristian Javier didn’t come up quick (7 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, one stroll, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.73). Effectively, he kinda did, for the reason that Astros wanted two extra pitchers for the mixed no-hitter in Yankee Stadium. After the sport, there was an interview with Cristian Javier the place he thanked God a number of instances, in order we thought, God hates the Yankees. It’s a brutal solution to lose a sport, however it’s gotta be demoralizing to listen to the Large Man Upstairs hates your guts. Pay attention, no-hit me, discuss that trash, however thank God afterwards proving God hates me? That’s soul-crushing. Really, I’m a bit scared to write down concerning the no-hitter. The Clay Holmes’s official scorer would possibly go in and alter a floor ball to a success simply to really feel one thing. Welp, we acquired ourselves a high 100 begins of the yr web page, and you may see for your self the place Javier landed with that gem. If you happen to acquired sonavabenched by that one, nicely, God may not such as you both. Anyway, right here’s what else I noticed this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Jeremy Pena – 1-for-4, 1 run as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s “Get Him In Your Lineup” Division mentioned, “After I’m doing one thing, I’m Keving.”
Jose Altuve – 1-for-3 and a slam (15) and double legs (4, 5). Effectively, metaphorically “legs.”
Aroldis Chapman – May return any day now, and Boone mentioned Chapman might be pitching the ninth. Boone additionally mentioned, “Hopefully Aroldis will get damage once more shortly.” Wait, that wasn’t Boone, that was me, an proprietor of Clay Holmes.
DJ LeMahieu – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his seventh homer. Houston, we’ve a DJ drawback (somebody misplaced their Geto Boys document, and there’s a bunch of little individuals sporting Bushwick Invoice shirts cracking their knuckles).
Aaron Decide – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his twenty eighth homer. There’s just one solution to make Aaron Decide seem small, it’s when placing him up to now forward within the MVP race.
Gleyber Torres – Went down in a heap on a foul baserunning play, that appeared a bit like a Rod Tidwell transfer, the place he stayed right down to distract from him getting picked off third with two outs. Guess we’ll see if Gleyber wants an IL stint or a lesson in baserunning fundamentals. Yanks are saying for now, a gentle ankle sprain. Sounds extra like a foul baserunning choice.
Nestor Cortes – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.51. He has a high 5 mustache, so it’s with a lot remorse I need to say he doesn’t look almost as dominant as in April/Might.
Jarren Duran – 2-for-5, 1 run, hitting .327, as he hits leadoff. Sure, he was in Friday’s Purchase, however he received’t be touring to Toronto this week. I ponder if he has the identical recurring nightmare about drowning in maple syrup whereas Bob and Doug McKenzie watch on.
Ty France – MRI confirmed a Grade-2 flexor pressure. Normally means his flexor pressure can do fundamental math, however the instances tables are out of the query–*intern whispers in ear*–listening to that it’s extra of an harm that would knock him out for roughly a month. Dylan Moore figures to see, uh, extra time. He’s acquired some giddy up in SAGNOF.
Marco Gonzales – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.31 as he was one of many solely gamers not ejected from yesterday’s sport. On Saturday, a pitch by Erik Swanson went too near Trout for the Angels’ liking, and the Angels tried to retaliate by hitting Jul-Rod, however missed, so that they hit Winker within the fanny, after which it was on like Donkey Kong, and Rendon went left-handed once more to get somewhat style of the Winker moneymaker, and all I might assume was, “Can we put Rendon and Winker in a cage to battle to the demise so I by no means need to draft considered one of them once more?”
Jonathan India – Didn’t begin on Sunday, after being hit on the hand on Saturday, however the x-rays got here again detrimental. Phew, that’ll imply he’ll solely miss two to a few months.
Nick Senzel – 3-for-3, 2 runs, 1 RBI, hitting .236. Reds did a ton of injury yesterday, as a result of Jonathan India was out of the lineup. I received’t hear different explanations.
Tyler Mahle – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.53. My confidence degree with Mahle is about the identical once I’m advised there’s beef in a Taco Bell chalupa.
Anthony DeSclafani – 2 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 9.95. Yo, Disco, cease disrespecting Gloria Gaynor’s legacy.
Mike Yastrzemski – 1-for-4 and his eighth homer, and 2nd homer within the final 5 video games. Carl’s Jr. Jr. may very well be a lightweight schmotato.
Bryce Harper – Hit the IL with a fractured thumb. *screaming on the heavens* “Not like this!” Sorry, Harper homeowners, that sucks. Not in contrast to your thumb that you simply’re sucking as you ask your mom’s good friend Susan to cradle you in her arms. First, the tear in his UCL, and now the thumb. Bryce is the “It’s merely a flesh wound” man from Monty Python this yr.
Seranthony Dominguez – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 1.63, and his 2nd save on Saturday, as Brad Hand labored a clear eighth. All proper, I’m calling it. That is the Hannibal Seranthony Hopkins’s job to chew up and spit out with some Chianti.
Kyle Schwarber – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his twenty first homer. Hopefully, Schwarber can go the home-run-hitting torch off to Nick Castellanos (4-for-5, 1 run, third steal) so he stops hitting like Juan Pierre.
Blake Snell – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 5.60. I wouldn’t commerce a slapdick prospect for Blake Snell.
Lou Trivino – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 7.17, and his 4th save. Welp, as predicted right here three months in the past, whereas being incorrect for 89 of the final 90 days, Trivino is getting saves for the A’s to construct up his commerce worth.
Seth Brown – 2-for-4 and his tenth homer, and his fifth homer in June, as he hit .250-ish within the final thirty days. Was making an attempt to construct to “this man is scorching” however didn’t totally get there.
Tony Gonsolin – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 1.58 vs. Spencer Strider- 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.02. Earlier than the sport, Gonsolin was educating Strider what seemed to be white-man-choreographed dance strikes, however, when requested, he mentioned, with an overbite, “I’m exhibiting him keep away from the Regression Fairies.”
Kenley Jansen – 1 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 3.58, and his 4th blown save. The Dodgers have been howling at that one. What a loser! That’s why they went out and acquired Craig Kimbrel. Oh, wait, he blew the save too. Brusdar Graterol (1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 4.01) acquired his 1st save, and turns into Kimbrel’s handcuff after Daniel Hudson tore his ACL.
Miles Mikolas – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.57. Anticipated nothing from Mikolas this yr. Picked him up in my shallowest league, and he’s extra of an automated begin than my “ace” *cough* Robbie Ray *cough*
Paul Goldschmidt – 1-for-4 and his 18th homer. Au Shizz!
Brendan Donovan – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 2nd homer. Cardinals pinch their eyes shut actual tight, and conjure up nice gamers.
Juan Yepez – 1-for-4 and his seventh homer. Whereas I used to be Yepez’s house run, I used to be horrified to see my browser cookies have been telling ESPN to supply me an advert for a Practice live performance, and additional mortified once I was like, “Hmm, Drops of Jupiter is a jam.”
Jack Flaherty – Left yesterday’s begin with a stiff shoulder. Do pitchers ever come again from shoulder accidents? To not reply however to ruminate.
Lance Lynn – 6 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 6.19. I kinda appreciated it higher when Lynn was on the IL. Everybody on the White Sox will get damage, can’t Lynn sneeze and throw out his again?
Dylan Stop – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.56. That’s 13 strikeouts in 101 pitches. Unsure why that makes me really feel like a Southern belle, however *followers self* Daddy, carry me some Nation Time Lemonade, I’m sweltering.
Carson Kelly – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting .122. *holds a mirror to Carson Kelly’s nostril, it fogs up* I feel he’s nonetheless right here!
Daulton Varsho – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, and his tenth homer, hitting .239. He took a lot break day from doing something in June he was moved right down to the 7-hole, and the Diamondbacks solely have one different hitter.
Ezequiel Duran – Despatched right down to the minors, so the Rangers may be reminded with a view of his talent.
Josiah Grey – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.82. Jos. Grey extra like Jos. take it to A Financial institution!
Jackson Tetreault – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.24. Wasn’t a ton of offense on Sunday. Effectively, except going through Jose Berrios. As for Tetreault, nicely, the Nats’ pitching has Josiah Grey!
Jonah Heim – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his tenth homer. About as precious on the Participant Rater as Jerry Tomato Realmuto. That’s a small woof for J.T., and tiny woo for Heim.
Trevor Rogers – 4 1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 5.86. Kinda really feel unhealthy for the individuals who nonetheless personal Trevor Rogers as a result of it means they’re trapped below a heavy object and might’t get to their fantasy staff web page.
Miguel Rojas – 1-for-4 and his sixth homer, hitting .236. Meh, that’s positive, however should you’re batting proper behind Berti, as Rojas was yesterday, your one job is to take actually all pitches in case Berti needs to run.
Daniel Castano – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.57 vs. David Peterson – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.10. Fascinated by having these two guys, who shouldn’t be good, as a substitute of truly having Jose Berrios and a few amorphous “Berrios is meant to be higher,” and sobbing loudly in a public place.
Brandon Nimmo – 2-for-4 and his fifth homer, hitting .278. Nimmo’s been horrible all month of June. Clearly, no Pleasure.
Corey Kluber – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.45. the drill: Streamonator.
Jose Berrios – 2 2/3 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 5.86. Spends 5 minutes educating a kangaroo throw a baseball. As a substitute of throwing the baseball, the kangaroo simply punches you within the intestine. You’re signed, Rooey! Welcome to my fantasy staff! You’ll be able to’t be worse than Jose Berrios.
Alejandro Kirk – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his tenth homer. Jays are kinda secretly disappointing this yr, however Kirk has been extraordinarily undisappointing. Appointing? Jose Berrios has brought about me to lose my grasp of the English language.
Hunter Renfroe – Hit the IL with a calf pressure. This harm was out of his management. I’ve him in a league the place I’m cursed, and I’ve cursed all of the gamers I are available contact with. Apologies upfront to Austin Hays. I do know he’s having an important yr, however it’s out of his management! This Renfroe harm may very well be a lift for Tyrone Taylor.
Rowdy Tellez – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his twelfth and thirteenth homer. Each Tellez and Kirk homered on this sport to honor those that have dressed as Humpty Dumpty for multiple Halloween.
Roansy Contreras – 5 IP, 1 ER, 4 hits, 5 walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.76 vs. Shane McClanahan – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 1.77. This matchup was billed as “Rays pitcher vs. a pitcher who will at some point be a Rays pitcher and an ace.”
Wander Franco – 1-for-5 as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s “Get Him In Your Lineup” Division mentioned, “I used to be simply siphoning off somewhat little bit of fuel from the break room fuel oven to gas my automobile to get house. I didn’t know that was going to trigger a building-wide evacuation.”
Charlie Blackmon – 1-for-5 and his twelfth homer, hitting .258. With no shirt, Chazz Noir brushing his horse’s mane, speaking to a fantasy baseballer, “Hey, child, you ever trip a very, actually previous horse?”
Chris Archer – 5 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.14. An Archer with pi…that’s gotta be apple! This was a straightforward Streamonator name, and his subsequent one is just not.
Jhoan Duran – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 2.18, and his fifth save, as Pagan (1 1/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.91) pitched within the sixth inning. Bocco Raldelli mixing issues up! Muck fe, you bon of a see.
Trevor Larnach – Hit the IL with a core muscle pressure. Excellent news for Celestino/Garlick. Not the outfield platoon, the Sbarro combo plate.